Transcription of an interaction between mid-20s something Indian guy who looked like he could be in the MBA program (but was not, don't worry) and a gorgeous UT undergrad at Caffe Medici on Guadalupe close to campus, approximately 1pm. The whole time, the girl was painfully polite, despite what may appear to be curt responses. I missed a little bit here and there, but this is roughly 90% of their conversation...
Guy: Your eyelashes are so dark and long
Girl: Thank you?
Guy: I wish men could wear those. But it's thought to be gay.
Girl: It's a woman's watch!
Guy: It's very big, must be very expensive
Girl: I worked hard for that watch
Guy: What do you mean?
Girl: I had to work a lot of hours at my job
Guy: Oh haha! I thought you might be some sort of a Lindsay Lohan character!
Guy: Are you fiesty?
Girl: Yeah of course
Guy: I'm a nice guy, don't punish me! haha
Guy: I will try to figure you out asking two questions. Have you ever had your palm read before?
Girl: I'm not a fan of that stuff
Guy: [shortened to keep up] I'll tell you a story - one time I met a girl [at a bar on 6th street] and she was a model and a math teacher at UT!
Girl: Wow you must have gone crazy
Guy: I got chest pains!
Girl: hahah
Guy: And the thing is, I got chest pains again!
Guy: Just for shits and giggles, how tall are you?
Girl: 5'9"
Guy: Just for shits and giggles, do you watch American TV? Let me ask you a question - let's say we're married. And we have a teenager and she's making out with a guy on the couch. We walk in, what do you tell them?
Girl: I don't know
Guy: You tell them How I met your mother!
Girl: Good one
Guy: So I seduced you? You seem like an outgoing person now, I'm guessing in middle school you were shy?
Girl: No, always this way
Guy: Why don't you tell me something about yourself?
Girl: I don't really know what to say, I'm not that interesting
Guy: Ok, at this point, it's time to determine how smart you really are. I'm going to ask you five questions and your job is to answer them all wrong. Have you ever had an accident in your life?
Girl: I had a cleft palete when I was young. Now I'm a spokesmodel for a cleft palette foundation.
Guy: I was born in India; I'm not sure if you knew that. Ok, so 4 more questions
Girl: Ok, then I have to do my German work
Guy: Ok, well I'll leave you for later. But I'll be here 7 days. Did you know there's bowling on campus?
Girl: I don't really hang out much on campus, actually
Guy: I don't want to ask you out on a date right now, but what was the best date you've been on?
Guy: Have you ever played cricket? That's like the #1 sport in India
Guy: Do you like spicy food?
Girl: No, I'm from the midwest
Guy: Oh, You're from midwest. Ohio is midwest?
Then he does a lie detector test by holding her hand.
Guy: Let me see your right hand.
Then he borrows her phone to put his number in it. Can't figure out how to put it in. Then he asks her to text him something witty so he can get her number.
Eventually she wards him off by promising to text him when he walks away. I don't think she's texted him, but he hasn't come back yet either. End.
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